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The four year old tyrant

My four year old has become a tyrant. My sweet little cuddly baby who became a middle born in January and turned four in March is now an impossible tyrant who harasses everyone.

I’m not going to say she’s become an asshole because that’s a trendy, and damaging, way to talk about your kid. As I’m responsible for her development I have to stay in an empathetic frame of mind. If anyone else acted like she does though I might use that descriptor. She takes toys from the baby. She bullies her older sister out of the chair. She pokes and prods at everyone and does everything else she can think of to get attention. Any attention. Much of it bad attention, she’s not really bothered.

It’s All My Fault

All this, I realise, is our own fault because we are not zen enough to react appropriately every time. We redirect the first three to five hundred times and then we yell and send away. When that doesn’t work we relent and engage with a book or building a tower if we can. I know! Why not do that in the first course? (Human. Messy, faulty, selfish human.) However as we all know, food needs to be prepared, a minimum of chores need to be done (and I mean minimum), baby needs to be fed and looked after; this three kids stuff is hard work! I read a lot about third babies “slotting right in” and let me tell you this is not my experience!

If you want to find out where your free time is, just have another baby. You’ll immediately realise where it was. 

Four is hard

Being a four year old is hard work, it seems. I remember her older sister going through a period where we thought she would just soak up all the attention we gave her, no matter how much time we managed to spend with her too. Like a little, human, black hole of time, she was absolutely insatiable. She’s a different child, but it seems four year old children just need a lot of help and attention. Sometimes we can forget because one minute she’s off doing her own thing not looking back, especially if we’re out visiting friends, and the next she’s literally competing with the baby for lap space. Sadly being annoying is her first course of action, rather than her second or third. It’s her go-to when she’s bored or looking for connection. Clearly she thinks this works; or else she hasn’t yet decided it doesn’t.

In any case I repeat my mantra: This too shall pass.

It will. And we’ll be on to the next exciting, completely different phase of her life.



Image via Pixabay, not my own.